I Love My Own Hate
by FearThePuggles
Summary: Kuroko has a traumatic event in his childhood, gets revenge. Kagami is an idiot. AU. I don't know anything about karate, please correct me on stuff I get wrong. Warning: Yaoi, Rape, Shounen Ai, Language. Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroko no Basuke, nor its characters. I don't own the cover image.
1. Chapter 1

I Love My Own Hate

 **So... Yeah. First post of this story and first (probably only) fanfiction. Please be, I don't know, maybe a little bit nice with reviews? Please? Oh, yeah. There will be OCs in this fanfiction. Just thought that you should know, in case you don't like having OCs in a fanfiction.**

 **Disclaimer** **: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke, nor do I own anything in Kuroko no Basuke**

 **WARNINGS** **:**

 **There will be language**

 **There will be mentions/hints of RAPE and TORTURE. Both mental and physical. Though there is only hints of rape in this chapter... I think, at least to me it is only hints.**

 **If you DON'T LIKE then DON'T READ.**

 **Also this is a YAOI FANFIC. Please keep this in mind.**

Epilogue

 _'Dark. Panting. Heat. Hot…. Hot, there's too much heat. Make it stop. Pain. Pain. Painpainpainpainpain. So much pain...' He remember his teacher saying, 'Pain is just in your mind, you can push past it', and started to giggle uncontrollably through his sobbing. 'How can I push pass it when it hurts so much? Nothing in my training has ever been this painful...' he thought, still giggling through his tears, looking lost with his eyes glistening slightly.  
_

 _The man hovering over the small boy was confused, but decided to ignore him, as he knew that he broke the boy's mind... but of course, he still wants to break it a bit more. "You can't run from me. You can't get away. I will always find you…. my little blue-boy. My angel." A blurry figure announces to the struggling and wounded boy under his hands._

 _The boy, still slightly delirious, started to say, after he heard what the terrible man said,"Run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man! Hahaha!" All while a voice in his head was screaming. 'NO. Stop it! Go away. Go away! This isn't happening. It can't be. This can't happen. Why me? Nobody noticed me before this… make it stop… Mama, Papa… why aren't you here? Where are you? You said you would protect me!'  
_

 _"Tsk, tsk. What's wrong, angel? You are supposed to be paying attention to me." He says with anger tinting his tone, pushing in a little harder making the little child cry louder. "This is happening. Now, listen to me closely, angel. No matter what you think, or how you try to block it out with your childish songs, NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU. Hehehe, can you feel me? Going in and out, in and out. The wonderful heat, the terrifying pain... It all makes the experience oh-so_ intense _, right, my little angel?" The deep voice of his tormentor flowed out from behind him, so silky and smooth. But with more than a hint of insanity. If you were to meet him on the street, you probably wouldn't be able to tell as he could make himself sound like many different people at once.  
_

 _The boy started to sob once more as the man pulled out with a loud groan. Repeating, "Run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'M THE GINGERBREAD MAN!" Over and over, clawing uselessly at the slimy alleyway ground, a broken smile lighting up his face in the eerie glow of the full moon.  
_

 _The man started to shake, laughter bubbling up his throat like vomit. "Alright! I'll look forward to plating with you again, someday. My little gingersnap." The shadowy man said with such warmth and care in his tone, it made the boy sick to his stomach, again. "But, if I do catch you, you come with me willingly! Okay, little broken record? Hahaha! It will all happen again, when I catch you! 'Cause I will always know where you are, no matter how far you run. Fun for me, torture for you!" The man started walking away into the light at the opening of the alley, leaving the boy in his pool of blood. "Heck, if you manage to be a good little plaything when I catch you again, I might just tell you why it was you that I chose! Until next time, my angel." The male laughed out, walking away from the dingy alleyway. Not once looking back._

 _"I swear, I will kill you…" The boy whispered, eyes trailing after the tormentor that he has never seen the face of. After coming back from his little world of children songs and little riddles, he starts to quietly cry as he makes his way out of the alley and back to the sidewalk, finally out of his hell after so many months with that person. The crows and rats watching the boy slowly make his way to the police station where he fainted after he was noticed, which took quite a while. After, his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he fainted.  
_

 **Yay! It's done! Finally! First time trying to write a story! Please read and review, I would greatly appreciate it! Ummm... I feel kinda awkward after writing that... I'm actually going to try and make this a book, like, with characters that I made up myself... then I decided that I should try it out as a fanfiction first and make adjustments when need be. I really hope that you like it, well...okay. Goodnight. I probably won't have an actual chapter out for a while, but thanks for reading if you found this in the plethora of stories on this website. Bye-bye! ;)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ohhh! I'm so happy! I didn't think that six people would even look at my story... I love y'all! I am kinda sad that nobody reviewed... - _ -. BUT! Just know, I don't bite... most of the time ;P Once again, please put up with my terrible writing. I love all of you that are putting up with me.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroko no Basuke**

1

 _-Six years later-_

"Tetsu-kun!" A beautiful woman with wavy, hip-length black hair, and icy blue eyes calls up a set of narrow stairs. "Hurry up, or you will be late for your first day of school!" When the woman, Kuroko Tetsumi, hears no reply she hurriedly climbs the stairs to the first door on the left of the staircase. Knocking on the door gently, she opens the door to find an already made bed and a neat and tidy room.

"Ara…" she says to herself, "that boy… not even saying good morning, or for that matter, goodbye to his mama … mo." She mutters to herself, unknowing of the shadow lurking behind her, smirking evilly.

Tetsumi squeaks, and is soon giggling happily, when she is suddenly picked up and spun around in a small circle. "Anata!" she exclaimed, slapping her husband's arm lightly when she felt, more than heard, him chuckling heartily at her expense. "Mo! You and Tetsu-kun are so much alike! Always saying you have no sense of humor then turning around and scaring the heck out of me! Mo!" she huffed, though with a small, warm smile on her face.

"Gomen, darling." Replies the tall, handsome man with light brown hair and dark, mischievous green eyes. "But I knew you were going to come up here and start worrying about Tetsuya... Wait, where is our little angel? I didn't see him leave this morning." He says with a perplexed and slightly worried expression on his face, looking around the small bedroom. Going so far as to look under the bed, behind a few of the many books on the rickety bookshelf and finally giving up after searching through his son's dresser drawers and small closet. All the while, Tetsumi was watching amused and wondering why he thought their son could fit in such ridiculously small places. Even if he is on the smaller side, shorter than his mother and reaching 5'1'' while his mother stood at 5'6'', he most definitely would not be able to fit on the bookshelf.

She looks at him with a small pout on her features, turning him around, saying, "Tetsu-chan already left! Can you believe that? Not even bothering to say bye to his Momma, and I even made him a bento for his first day of school! And, honey, you know he doesn't like to be called that anymore. Not after what happened." After remembering about the ... incident, Tetsumi's pout slowly slides off her face and her eyes become colder. She sighs, and pats her husband's arm lightly, seeing anger starting to light up his eyes. Tetsuya's father, James Kuroko, slowly blinks, worry and anger etched into the line of his brow. When he was settled enough with the pat to his arm, he looked her in the eye. Seeing the turmoil and sadness within them, he sighs.

"He will get better, sweetie. He has a heart of steel; I know he can make it through. We just need to support him, and give him some space. And I still refuse to let that _thing_ take away what I have called our son since he was barely old enough to crawl." The spark in her husband's eyes at the mention of the incident made Tetsumi feel guilty about bringing up the problem of that nickname again. It always ended poorly, usually with a bit of a mess to clean up. Mostly broken dishes and lamps. So many lamps...

Shaking off the thoughts of the event of last year... and the year before that... and the year before that one... and, well you get the point. "I know honey… but, he hasn't been acting like his usual self lately, like he got worse. He seems… lifeless. Like he has nothing left in the world to care about. He used to be so, so happy before… before _that_ happened!" Suddenly, her anger broke loose of her strong hold. Her eyes an inferno of hatred burning her inside-out, tear on the brink of falling. "Before that monster defiled my pure little boy! My little angel! He was only ten, James! TEN!" She shrieked, clutching her husband's shirt in a death hold.

James looked as though he was trying to keep hold of his temper at another mention of _that day._ The day they found out their little angel was tormented and had his pure soul shattered to pieces. But the sight of his wife like this helped him keep it together. He gathered her to him in a tight hug as she finally gave in and broke into tears, soaking her husband's shirt in seconds.

"Shh, it will be okay. It will, I promise." He is quiet for a few moments, enough for his wife to gather her composure. And, after a moment of hesitation, he broke the silence once more. "I think… I think that it is time to talk to him about going to a therapist."

Shocked, Tetsumi looked up at James, "But, don't you remember what happened the last time we tried to get him to see one? He destroyed almost all of his books because of the stress it put him under remembering even a little bit!"

He sighed once again, sadness creeping back into his eyes. "I know, but if it keeps going on like this, I-I don't know what might happen to him. Like you said, he is getting worse, a lot worse. I didn't want to talk to you about this because I was worried that you would be upset, but... I heard him talking in his sleep a few days ago. He was talking in his sleep again, _'Run, run as fast as you can you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man! I won't let you get me again, I will hunt you down and kill you first!'_ I didn't know what to do, I just froze. I was what he was saying when we went to see him at the hospital. We need to talk to him, and soon. I don't want him to try and commit suicide again, I hate seeing him like that." He finished, sounding almost broken. The lost look in his eyes tearing at Tetsumi's soul.

Tetsumi paused, looking conflicted, before determination took a hold of her features. "Okay, we will talk to him when he gets home after he is done with his club activities, cuz you know he's going to join that club. Especially after sensei died." She smiles softly before placing a light kiss on her husband's lips and telling him, "Anata, you are late for work."

James's eyes widen comically before he glances at his watch while cursing and halfheartedly glaring at his wife, who was smiling evilly at him, for not telling him sooner. You could practically see the little devil horns poking out of her hair. "Have a good day at work darling!" She calls after him teasingly as he ran to his car.

"You too, sweet pea!" He calls back while grinning as she recalls that if he is late for work means she is cutting it pretty close too.

"Boo, meanie!" She mutters to herself with a small pout. 'I wonder how he will react…' she thinks faintly. 'I guess we will see when the time comes.' She sighs, then dashes out the door to her car and zooms away, just barely making it to work on time.

 _-Setting Change: Sidewalk next to Seirin High School-_

On his way to school, Tetsuya is quietly singing _Amazing Grace_ to himself, trying to keep his mind off the nightmare he had again last night. Not worrying about anybody overhearing him. 'It's not like anyone can see me, anyway.' He thinks, depressed, though it does not show on his face. His ever-present mask in place once again. He didn't use to be like this. He used to smile, laugh, have fun with his friends. 'But… that was before…' Quickly, he shakes off his disheartening thoughts and keeps singing. Not noticing where he was going, as he was reading and singing to himself while he walked, not one of the smartest ideas, he will admit. He bumped into a rather tall individual with two-tone hair.

"Ah," Tetsuya quietly exclaims, falling to the ground. "That hurt…" A minuscule frown on his face appears, though is quickly wiped away as soon as it happened.

The tall male looks around, confused. He couldn't find what he bumped into… that is, until he tried walking again and tripped over a body. Otherwise known as Kuroko.

"Gah!" The male with crazy eyebrows yelled out. "What the hell?!" As he landed square on his face, making his nose burst with blood.

"Ano, would you mind getting off of me please?" Kuroko asks, as he is quite uncomfortable with human contact.

"G-G-G-!" He stutters.

"G-?" Kuroko asks, confused.

"GHOST!" The giant screeches like a little girl, right into Kuroko's ear, irritating Kuroko immensely.

Kuroko huffed, having enough of the giant oaf. "I am not a ghost, and as you have not moved, even a little bit, I will have to forcefully remove you of my person." He gives as his only warning.

The boy was too busy trying to catch his breath and look at the boy before him, finding that he looked quite beautiful... 'Wait?! Did I just think that a boy was beautiful? What the hell... He looks like...'

"An angel..." The man-child muttered quietly. The spark of fury and fear in the blue haired boy's eyes confused the Baka.

"I warned you." Kuroko muttered quietly, and swiftly threw the giant oaf off of his midsection to land hard on the cement a few feet away, looking dazedly up into the sky. Kuroko moves over to crouch by his head and quietly states, "Never call me that again, or there will be severe consequences." Glaring down at the boy before moving through the confused crowd, who all thought that a 6'3'' giant just flew through the sky for no reason, never noticing the beautiful blue haired boy calmly gliding away from the area of the collision.

'That... was an amazing throw!' The giant thought excitedly, immediately jumping to his feet, sparkles flying all around him as he bound through the perplexed crowd to his new school. 'I hope I meet him again! I wonder what school he goes to?' The oaf wonders as he strides to his school.

* * *

'Serves him right.' Kuroko thinks, slowly walking onto school property. Slipping pass the students like water.

While walking, Kuroko tries to calm his racing heart. 'It's okay, It's okay. We moved, he can't find me. Physical touch is okay, it isn't him. The giant man may have called me _that name,_ but his voice didn't sound right. He isn't here. I'm okay, remember what sensei said...'

 _-Flashback-_

 _'Tetsu-chan.' An elderly man gently calls to the young boy curled in on himself in the corner of his dojo. 'It's okay. I won't hurt you. Please trust me. I'm not like him, not all people are. If you want to keep learning how to protect yourself from him, you need to get used to human contact, again. You will eventually have to touch someone if you are to compete in a match, or spar. Please, stop hiding yourself. I can help you learn how to keep your emotions at bay enough to fight to the best of your ability. Now, please, come out.' The old man commands gently, crouching in front of the young boy on the slightly dirty floor. Patiently waiting for the boy to unravel from his memories.  
_

 _Slowly, Tetsuya unfolded himself and looked straight into the man's amber eyes. Or more like into his soul, according to the elder. 'Good, good. Now, let's get back to work shall we?' He asked smiling gently._

 _Tetsuya nods, and gets up from his position. As he stands with the elder, he is surprised that the man offers him a hug. Tentatively, Tetsuya accepts. Much to his surprise, it is warm and comforting. Not suffocating like he believed it would be. He relaxes into the man he considers his grandfather. 'See?' The man asked smugly, 'There are some forms of contact that feel nice, comfortable. We can work through this together, you, me and your parents. All of us are part of a team now.' Slowly Tetsuya nods his understanding. The elderly man smiles slightly at his pupil's reaction, happy he is opening up a little at a time. 'Alright, we should get you back to your parents now. It is getting late, I will walk you home.' He says while pulling away from Tetsuya and taking his hand._

 _Tetsuya brightens slightly at the mention of his parents, gripping the elder's hand tighter. 'Hai, Daichi-sensei!' He exclaims with a barely-there smile on his face as they amble their way along the darkening streets towards home.  
_

 _-End Flashback-_

As quickly as it had come, his small panic attack declined until there was nothing left of it anymore. His emotionless mask slipping back on his face. And just in time, as he made out a black and white banner attached to a table, boldly stating ' _Karate Club Registration'._ He approached the table that had a tallish black haired man whom was wearing glasses and had a permanent scowl on his face, and a boy with brown hair and a, strangely, cat-like appearance, in his usual manner, quietly and unnoticeably."I would like to apply to the club." He requested politely, scaring the poor boys half to death by doing so.

The males scanned him from head to toe, making Tetsuya more than uncomfortable, wanting nothing more than to snap at them to stop staring at him like that. But his emotions still did not show on his face.

"Does he even have an ounce of muscle on him?" The cat boy asked his neighbor, sounding amused. "Look at those noodle arms, aha." The male with glasses just looked at the teen in front of him, searching for something. For what? Tetsuya didn't know.

Tetsuya's whole demeanor changed at the stares that were sent his way, feeling the piercing stares all around him, laughing at him. Just like THAT MAN. Tetsuya's eyes had the life sucked out of them, making them as cold as a glacier, and just as unforgiving. A dark and menacing aura accumulating behind him, making it hard for those around him to breathe. "Unless you would like me to demonstrate what I have learned from my sensei the last eight years of my life, I suggest that you do not judge me so easily, _Sempai tachi."_

The two boys, now quivering in their seats as they felt the sheer pressure pushing down on them, quickly nod their heads. The terrifying boy in front of them staring straight through the walls they had built and in to their souls, before they saw the boy visibly reign in his temper, his blank mask slipping back on. Though there was still a hint of iciness that could be seen in his eyes, he has not forgiven them completely yet. Tetsuya looked at them with his usual deadpan and asked,"Are you okay? You look pale." As if none of that had happened. Both of the boys looking at each other to confirm that what just happened was real, and judging by all of the people's reactions around them, it definitely had.

Nodding to each other, the two males stood up and bowed in apology, the cat-like one still looking slightly traumatized and sweating profusely, before sitting back down again. "We are very sorry with how we acted just now..." The boy with black hair and glasses paused, silently asking for a name.

Tetsuya, getting what he was quietly implying, stated,"My name is Kuroko Tetsuya, may I ask for your names as well?"

"Ah, yes. My name is Hyuuga Junpei," the one with a scowl and glasses replied. "And this is Koganei Shinji. Once again, we deeply apologize for how we treated you just now."

'Well, at least he has the decency to appear embarrassed...' Kuroko thought as he watched a blush travel across the arch of... Hyuuga's nose and to the tips of his ears, making him look like a tomato. 'That's kind of adorable.' Kuroko thought absentmindedly, before returning his attention to his sempai.

"Nice to meet you, sempai." Kuroko states readily, while bowing politely in his seat, still graceful even when sitting in a folding chair, surprising both of the older boys in front of him.

'Thank goodness,' Koganei thought in relief, 'I don't think he hates us for what we did... I wonder why not. Does he forgive that easily? Or does it take more than that to get him to keep a grudge?' Koganei drifts off in his thoughts and silently concludes that he does not what to find out, especially if it is himself that will be on the receiving end of the grudge.

'Ooh, a polite kohai. What a magnificent gift.' Hyuuga thought in approval, glowing slightly at the prospect of such a wonderful gift.

Oblivious to their thoughts, Kuroko continued with the conversation. "As I was saying, I would like to very much like to join this club. I have been out of practice for a few months though. Will that be a problem?"

"Ah, no. It is no problem." Hyuuga states, all the while thinking, 'That's him while he is out of practice!? What the hell is he?!' Coming back to reality after he finds that his kohai is staring at him expectantly. Hyuuga clears his throat,"Oh, umm... I just need you to fill out this form and sign the bottom. We will be having our first meeting after school today in the second dojo. Please do not be late. Our coach is very picky about being on time." Hyuuga picked up the conversation again, informing the freshman of the details he needed to know, including where the dojo was so he wouldn't get lost.

As his senpai was explaining all of this, Kuroko was thinking, 'Who knew sensei's trick would be so effective... and he doesn't need to explain all of this, I've already been on the tour...' Finding that his senpai was almost done with his informative speech, he tuned back in to catch the last part.

"... Welcome to Seirin, Kuroko-kun." Hyuuga cracked a small grin while saying this.

"Thank you, senpai. I look forward to seeing you again." Kuroko answered in his monotone voice, bowed, and disappeared into the crowd within seconds.

Hyuuga and Koganei let out huge sighs, flopping back into their chairs.

"Who knew a freshman could have such a terrifying aura..." Hyuuga muttered to himself. While Koganei took a peek at Kuroko's paper, freezing when he saw the kid's middle school name.

"H-Hyuuga... look at this, please." He squeaked out before sliding the paper over to Hyuuga, whose eyes widened after reading the school's name.

"No freaking way..." He muttered, absolutely giddy. Yet completely terrified at the thought of possibly having one of _them_ on their team.

Just then, a large shadow loomed over their little table, along with another powerful aura.

'What the hell is with these freshman!' Koganei and Hyuuga both screech in their heads as they look up at the one with such a huge aura.

 **Hello, again my little kitties! Sorry it has been so long since the last update! *Bows lowly while praying not to be smacked* Sad thing is... the next update is gonna take even longer... I'M SO SORRY! *wails* I love you all, so please don't hurt me. I don't know anything about karate or anything of the like. I just love to watch people get the shit beat out of them in semi-legal ways :) If there is anything you wanna correct me about, please feel free to PM me or you know, review? No? C'mon~ I don't bite... usually. ;) Alrighty, kiddies. Bye bye, and please review, it will make my day.  
**


	3. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

Alright my honeys, I re-read the story, and let's just say that I hate all of it and it will take me a while to revise, edit, and rewrite. Especially since I have school to attend. I will work as quickly as possible to, but just know that it will more than likely going to take at the least a year to even try and update anything. I love you all, but my school work has more importance than my writing. I hope you will have enough patience to wait for me. I love you my dears, I won't blame you if you hate me.


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